


Ren & I

by skinsuit



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Post Force Awakens, TW: drinking, bottom kylo, withwood AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 21:37:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5943952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skinsuit/pseuds/skinsuit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of the Force Awakens,  Hux discovers that Kylo Ren is drunk and depressed. Hux decides that the two of them should go on a 'holiday' of sorts. After all a holiday is never a mistake. </p><p>This is a sort of Kylux homage to the classic Withnail & I.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ren & I

The arena of the unwell. 

It had been a fortnight since the destruction of the Starkiller base. Kylo Ren hadn’t left his quarters on the Finalizer since then. Hux remembered the aftermath well, carrying the heavy bulk of the unconscious Ren through the snow to the waiting ship, the asshole, regained consciousness had quickly seen the medics to get healed (all save the scar, the melodramatic sod). Hux noted that, Ren had seemed disappointed that he hadn’t actually lost a limb from the battle. Shortly after that, Kylo Ren and a private audience Snoke. After that Ren and retreated to his quarters and had been sulking inside them ever since. Hux didn’t mind, since most of the time, he had to make all the important command decisions anyhow. None of the food trays sent to Kylo’s quarters had been returned so it meant, the asshole was eating and hadn’t killed himself. That was until two days ago, when the food trays left outside Kylo’s door had sat untouched, piling up. Maybe Kylo Ren had plucked up the courage and slit his wrists with that ridiculous light saber of his. Despite himself, Hux was concerned, they had been having a discreet, sporadic affair, based on mutual lust… for sometime…. he sighed. ‘I need to get into that room and discuss Ren’s problems. If Ren isn’t currently a corpse.’ Thankfully, Hux was one of the few people on the Finalizer that had the access code to the asshole’s door. 

It was morning, shortly after breakfast of toast and reading some lurid tabloid trash posing as news, that Hux strolled over to Ren’s quarters. A new food tray was left untouched, near the door. Hux glanced at it, making a note to himself to get some cleaning droids to clear up the mess. He knocked on the door and said: “Ren, you need to come out of there.”

No response. He knocked again, no response. He sighed. “I’m coming in, Ren whether you like it or not.” 

Hux shook his head, he put in the access code and the door slid open. Hux stepped into the room and the door slid shut behind him. The room was pitch black, and it stunk. Hux rolled his eyes and made a small gesture the lights flickered on. Normally the asshole’s quarters were a study in stark grey metal with little furniture or personal decor other then a shrine to a ruined helmet. Now there were piles of trays with half eaten, rotten food were heaped chaotically around the room. Hux was sure, he saw something growing on one living biological… matter. The floor was strewn liberally with clothing apparently left where it was removed, and then walked on later. The walls has scorch marks from Ren’s most recent tantrums, also there was a pile of what had been a chair another tantrum victim. Hux was sure he heard a scuttling sound… had the asshole attracted vermin in his quarters? Pest control wasn’t cheap. No matter, this was simply the sitting room. The further darkness of the bedroom beckoned and possibly Ren who may or not be alive. As Hux walked into the reeking bedroom it had a, entirely different stench, of unwashed body and sweat, the motion activated lights went on. He heard a groan from under the mounded gray duvet covering the bed. Which meant that leader of the first order, Kylo Ren was still alive.   
The bedroom was small, most of it taken up by a double bed. What surprised Hux the most though were the empty and half empty liquor bottles that littered the floor near the bed. When they enjoyed a rare moral boosting piss up, with a few other officers, Ren made it a point use the force to stay sober, whilst drinking all of them under the table. The one time Ren allowed himself to get drunk… Hux shuddered as he recalled, they had to memory wipe the few survivors and never invited Ren again. Apparently, judging by the bottles scattered around Ren hadn’t been sober for…. ten days? Hux strode over to the bed and ripped off the covers. He found the asshole, huddled in the fetal position, almost naked save for a pair of stained boxers… in his left hand he held a half empty bottle of a clear liquor, in his right his light saber. The asshole was blessed with an amazing body, but seeing it hunched, eyes screwed shut, black hair matted and greasy, surrounded by miscellaneous stains, wasn’t exactly arousing. 

“Put the covers back…” Ren groaned. 

“Get up.” Hux said.

 

“PUT THEM BACK.” Ren yelled, eyes going wide. he flicked on his light saber waved it vaguely upwards in Hux’s direction. Hux stepped back, shaking his head. 

“You’re drunk, turn it off before you hurt yourself Ren.” Hux sighed.

 

“No, I’m not I …can use the force to get sober….” Ren muttered. He stared ahead, concentrating, scowling attempting to detoxify his alcohol soaked body and brain… there was awkward pause for a few moments. “I can it’s just… the force gets harder to reach… when you—“

“…drink?” Hux said. 

“Don’t finish my sentences!” Ren shouted, jabbing the light saber at Hux, and then accidentally shutting it off. 

“You need to be taken in hand, Kylo,” Hux said. “It’s been a fortnight.”

“‘-‘ve Been meditating.” Ren said and then took a swig from the bottle. 

“I see,” Hux said sarcastically looking at the detritus.

“Very well, I’ll get up.” Ren said. He pushed himself to a sitting position on the bed. Hux could now see the scar on Ren’s face. The asshole sat up, and stared blankly ahead, still in a stupor.

Hux stared at the stained sheets… “is that vomit?”

“It dried.” Ren was nonplussed. 

“it’s disgusting. You are getting up, taking a shower and I’m getting some cleaning droids in here, so this place doesn’t look like an outer rim garbage dump.” 

“Fine.” Ren said.

Hux started to walk away to order some cleaning droids and then realized Kylo Ren wasn’t moving, just sitting there staring. He turned on his heel, went back to Ren. Hux took Ren’s left hand, helped him up and lead him to the shower. “You need to put down the bottle and the light saber.”

“Alright.” Kylo Ren said, opened his hand, and let both fall unceremoniously to the floor. Hux picked both up and put them on the bathroom shelf.

Ren stood in the shower, it wasn’t on, he was slightly wobbling.

“Take off your underwear.” Hux put his face in his hands.

Ren actually listened and did so. Hux turned on the shower, now Ren was standing under the water, wobbling slightly and wet.

“For fuck’s sake,” Hux said. “Do I have to wash you?”

He should have made Phasma do this, she wouldn’t put up with any of Ren’s crap. 

Ren looked at him helplessly as the water ran off him in rivulets, The man was utterly plastered. Hux shook his head. He picked up the bottle and light saber put them on a bathroom shelf against the far wall, and then he began to disrobe, folding neatly each item of clothing. He joined Ren in the shower. 

“You smell like a dead Bantha.” He grumbled.   
He got out some shampoo from the shower wall, and started to wash the asshole’s hair, massaging throughly into the assholes scalp. Ren straightened up, leant into Hux’s hands. “Of course you’re enjoying this, you’d probably like a hand job into the bargain.” Hux muttered.

“Remember the first time we fucked?” Ren said. “I was masturbating in the officers’ shower and you walked in on me. The look on your face: shock, fear, anger, loathing and lust. It was delicious.” Ren said with slyly. 

Hux recalled it vividly, he hadn’t heard the shower running in the changing room, he’d just ducked in because his quarters were so far away… when he walked into the shower to only discover Ren furiously stroking his cock, under the hot water. He didn’t know whether he wanted to hit the man or fuck him also there was urge to run away before the manic noticed and force choked him. His delight and surprise when instead of a murderous rage, he’d gotten an invitation…  
He thought of that as he lathered up a sponge and scrubbed the filth off the lazy asshole’s body. He could think whatever he wanted about Ren now, the manic was to drunk to read his mind, his pale skin smooth, and warm under his touch. He could see bruises where Ren had been injured he wondered if they still hurt. Despite himself he was getting turned on. Then he felt Ren’s cock brush against his thigh. Hux cleared his throat. 

“In the mood now?” 

“Why don’t you reach down and find out?”

“Is that a yes?”

“It isn’t a no.”

Hux considered, bending over Ren and fucking him, slowly and tenderly (because of the bruises)…

“If you are too drunk to use the force, you are too drunk to fuck.”

“Killjoy.”

It suddenly got very chilly, under this warm stream of water. 

“You can hardly stand.”

“Are you done yet?” Ren said sounding irritated.

“Yes.”

Hux stepped out of the shower, he turned off the water and put on the special drying setting. Ren was clean, for now. Hux looked away and began to get dressed again.

“You should fuck me.”

“You can’t make me, you are far to drunk, I’m not looking at you now. I know you are attempting to tug an erection out of your flaccid, drunk prick.”

Hux could hear the obscene sound of flesh smacking against flesh. 

“You want to fuck me.”

“I want you fuck you when you aren’t being so pathetic and intoxicated.”

Hux was dressed he didn’t even look back. “I’m calling the cleaning droids, they’ll bring you some fresh clothes and a clean mask. I suggest you wear the clean mask, the voice modulator will make everyone think you are sober.”

“I have a mask here.”

“Don’t wear that mask, Ren… you’ve been puking in it.”

Hux left Ren’s quarters. He went up to his own quarters and finished a word puzzle on his tablet, then read the briefings from around the Empire. There were reports of resistance activity, in usually quiet sector near the outer rim. He thought about Ren, who was miserable sober but just pathetic and sad drunk and depressed. The events of this month would depress anyone. Hux had seen careers derailed by this sort of thing. A part of him really wanted to laugh, and watch Ren go from promising force-sensitive to a drunken nobody. But another part knew that if Ren went down, he’d take Hux with him.. somehow. Snoke wouldn’t allow for it for one.   
There had to be something…. Hux glanced at the briefings again, maybe if he and Ren could get away… somewhere… Ren could meditate, Hux could get his head clear (also bugger Ren senseless) and after a little holiday they could… no, this was the Empire, there was no such thing as a ‘holiday’ unless you meant: ‘death’. … he looked at the briefings, again.An idea came to him, maybe He and Ren could investigate this so called rebel activity, in the quiet sector. Hux was quite sure, it would turn out to nothing, and while not a holiday as such. It would do, a holiday was never a mistake.


End file.
